I have a confession to record, and to you alone I am sure I may entrust all of my secrets.
I must confess there is an obscure fetish artform that I adore which is indeed not a longing for the faint of heart. The death fetish, that is… the most sacred fetish art, and the most secret because many tend to think of it as unholy and taboo. But I know better than them. I know what Death truly is, and I’m not afraid of it. It does not sadden me or haunt me… it fascinates me, because it is an illusion of ultimate destruction, an artform unto itself.
Death fetishism is gratification through the infliction of, or the experience of, death, whether real or imagined. The gratification in particular is sexual arousal via either the bringing of death to others or the experiencing of death for oneself. In essence it is the courting of the Spirit of Death instead of the avoidance of It. For as long as I can remember, Death has been a part of my life, and I know it always will be. I have seen creatures die, seen things live through the dying process to ultimately experience death. I have squashed many bugs beneath my fingers & toes, I have killed many spiders beneath my combat boots, I eat meat almost every day… I willingly admit I have caused death to other living beings… I must also admit I have longed for my own death before. To die would be such a sublime adventure! I have always wondered what lies beyond the boundaries of this world that I have always known.
What I have learned about it throughout my life, is that Death may be the end of a single lifetime, but eternity holds for all of us many more lifetimes. This is the most beautiful & perfect thing about indulgence in the death fetish… gaining of the certain knowledge that there will always be more life to be had. It is the only way to learn for oneself that we are the conservation of energy, thus we will never really die. If life really were a video game, we’d have infinite lives. Death is the ultimate illusion of ultimate destruction.
The death experience is an occasion far more special than a wedding day, because it can only truly be experienced once in a lifetime. Medical and legal definitions of death have little to do with what I am speaking of here, since they easily become outdated. No longer does the cessation of breathing or heartbeats count as certain death, for these things may in this day & age sometimes be restarted. It is widely known that every human dies, but not every human truly lives. Even Benjamin Franklin knew that one can die in spirit while young without actually experiencing death until they are old. But there can only be one death for every lifetime, one very personal experience of transformation into the nonphysical realm- just as the caterpillar transforms into a butterfly only once within its lifetime, never to be the same again forever after.
Death is a powerful form of change that every living being must experience. To be able to cause one’s death, or the death of another, is a form of power. To be able to enjoy one’s death, or the death of another, is a form of love. The death fetish constitutes a form of amor fati, or ‘love of one’s fate’, where the universal inevitability of the death experience brings one pleasure rather than anguish. We only live & die once. To control one’s own life & death is an awesome power to be fated with. If death be certain for us all, we may as well enjoy it!
When being deliberately designed, the death experience can naturally be tinged with BDSM, and particularly sadomasochism; but this isn’t a necessary element. The death experience can be every bit as romantic & sweet as it can be brutal & arduous… it just all depends on the relationships of those who are involved in the creation of the experience. After all, a lover may kill their mate in drastically different fashion than a master or mistress might kill their slave. Certain methods of death are preferred more than others- one who prefers a slow death via bleeding is no more or less appropriate than another who prefers a quicker death by gunshot. A terminally ill individual and a healthy individual are both equally valid in their desire to design their own death… as beauty lies within the eye of the beholder, no aspect of the death experience may be considered taboo.
While I am always eager for the deliciousness of life, I am always aware of the deliciousness of death. If I am to enjoy it, I must not hurry along my own fate, for fate is kind to those who take the time to enjoy its pleasures.